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Men are Just Happier
People (email
R.V. 30Nov2005)
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from
such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You
can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your
urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn
a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have
strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles
in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its
original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years,
maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes
one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no
matter how your legs look.
You can "do"
your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of
choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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